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“A horse is a horse, of course, of course, And no one can talk to a horse, of course, That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mister Ed.”

How do horses communicate? As much as we might wish our horses were as vocal and communicative as Mister Ed, we have to learn to listen in a different way: by reading their body language. Watch a group of horses in the pasture, and you might see one pin its ears or turn its hindquarters toward another horse as a warning. Or you might see two horses peacefully sharing a pile of hay or mutually scratching each other’s withers. Even without words, they are communicating clearly.

Incredibly, horses can communicate with us just as clearly—if we take the time to observe, identify, and understand what they are telling us.

Horse Communication:

When a horse doesn’t respond the way a rider or handler expects, there are usually a couple of possibilities.

1. The horse is confused and is trying to find the right answer.

This is a great training opportunity. Rather than becoming frustrated with the horse, we can patiently help them understand what we are asking and guide them toward the correct response.

2. We are riding poorly or giving an unclear cue.

Sometimes the horse is simply responding to what we are communicating—whether we intended to communicate it or not. This, too, is a valuable training opportunity because it reveals the “holes” in our own horsemanship and gives us a chance to improve.

Both situations can help us get to the root of a communication problem with our horses. But they also offer some valuable insight into how we communicate with the people around us.

Our Communication:

God created us for community. Living in community with others requires communication, yet our communication is often flawed because we live in a fallen world. While this is certainly not an exhaustive list (and I am not a biblical counselor!), there are two important lessons from horsemanship that can go a long way in helping us communicate with others in a Christlike way.

1. Give grace.

When our horse is confused, we don’t expect them to get everything right immediately. Instead, we patiently guide them toward the correct response. In the same way, we need to show grace to the people around us. We all make mistakes. We all misunderstand. And sometimes we communicate poorly. Instead of assuming the worst about someone’s motives, we can choose to assume the best and extend grace.

2. Examine yourself first.

Just as we need to evaluate whether our riding position and cues are clear and correct, we should also evaluate our own responses before pointing fingers at someone else. Jesus reminds us to take the plank out of our own eye before trying to remove the speck from someone else’s (Matthew 7:3–5). We must be willing to recognize, admit, and repent of our own sin. More often than we would like to admit, we may discover that we are part of the communication problem.

Christlike Communication:

Good communication—whether with a horse or with another person—requires us to slow down, pay attention, and be willing to examine ourselves. When our horse doesn’t respond the way we expect, our first question shouldn’t always be, “What’s wrong with my horse?” Sometimes the better question is, “What am I communicating?”

The same is true in our relationships. Before assuming someone else has bad motives, we can choose to extend grace. Before pointing out someone else’s faults, we can humbly examine our own hearts. And when communication breaks down, we can remember that our goal isn’t simply to be understood, but to communicate in a way that reflects Christ.

Horses remind us that communication is about more than words. It requires listening, observation, patience, humility, and trust. May we be just as intentional about listening to the people God has placed around us—and may our words, actions, and responses point them toward Him.